I have done so much pondering on my trip…so many emotions overflowed as we trekked our way through our itinerary and dipped ourselves in the magic waters of our memory. It felt as if we were a rock skipping across the waters of our life. It was so easy to deceive ourselves into believing that being in that time and space of yesteryear we would find that all of our loved ones who were embedded in those long ago memories, were still alive somewhere waiting for our return. Standing in places that triggered a story from long ago gave us the sense of their nearness once more.
And now we are home. It is as if we have stepped off a fast moving train and we are catapulted sideways by the mere force of stopping our forward motion. I am dizzy with the re-entry process back to normal life. This must be what it feels like to time travel, a disorientation to find yourself back where you started and left to wonder if any of it really happened at all. The mind is funny that way. I feel lost somewhere in time and space. Steve is my constant who helps me straddle those spheres.
I wish to capture these thoughts and images and put them into one of my mason jars to preserve and savor, yet it is already slipping away. Although I want to share our experiences, and others will politely listen and smile, I realize that they really have meaning only for us. Trying to encapsulate those feelings into mere words is near impossible and it saddens me a bit that I am unable do it.
I have learned much from this sojourn about my blessings, about my past, about myself really, and I must divine how to harness it and use it in this wonderful season of my life. It is a Tree Star, no doubt, and one for which I am supremely grateful. It is also rather like a cryptex. I must decipher the code to discover its message and its application. Life is a wonderful mystery, isn’t it, and sometimes the unexplained can be the most compelling.