On motherhood….

I count being a mother as my life’s greatest Blessing… every… single… day.  I am beyond thankful for this privilege and responsibility.  It is a lifelong job that continues to give me great joy….. and challenge.

Finding out that we were going to have a baby was like having a very special secret that I hugged close to my heart.  I loved seeing how my body adjusted to a new life within and learning about the millions of details that had to happen with nano second precision to produce a healthy little human.  In the moment of birth, which we were fortunate enough to experience twice, Steve and I knew that we were participating in a miracle which tethered us together in a way like no other.  Life is the pinnacle of all miracles.  I cannot begin to understand the immediate love that was born that day with this wee little one and the ferocious instinct that emerged to protect him at all costs.  Mysteriously this explosion of maternal love has the capacity to multiply irrationally with each child.  This love is born before you know who they will be or what they will do.  It just is…unconditional.   I would happily go through labor every single day of my life to experience this feeling.  I felt as if I was the only woman who had ever done such an incredible feat.  Oh the intoxication of sheer joy!

Motherhood is a defining moment. Do you unselfishly put your child’s needs ahead of your own OR do you tenaciously hold onto to your Me-centered-ness?  Years later, a very wise young friend put words to this thought by saying,  I think God gives us children so that we can practice what it means to truly put others ahead of self.   I don’t think that I consciously ever made that decision.  It was birthed along with my children.  I chalked it up to maternal instinct, however I came to find out that not everyone is wired that way.  By the Grace of God, He allowed me to feel that way.

In the journey of motherhood, I have found myself as the coach on the field, the cheerleader on the sidelines, and finally the fan in the stands.  I cherished their roots and celebrated their wings.  It wasn’t easy.  Some stages were more challenging than others.  I made mistakes….many…and I continue to make them.  But I found that making it through the difficulties only served to deepen the love that I felt.   It was the hard that made it good. 

Just because your kids grow up doesn’t take away your mother-ness and your desire to protect and know that all is well. You still love hard, you still hurt when they hurt, you still worry, and you still dream big dreams for them.  Motherhood is a seed that grows into a towering oak, and it will be inside you no matter how old your children are.  As adults, they don’t understand why you still do those things, but one day they will, when they, too, have that privilege.  When I shared the title with my own Mother and Grandmother, it strengthened our existing bond. I appreciated them more than I ever had before. I finally realized what they had done for me, the sacrifices they had made on my behalf.   I realized that they, too, had spent countless nights caring for me when I was sick or well, worrying about me, loving me, cheering me on, giving up things they wanted to enable them to provide for me. I finally understood.   In knowing how fiercely and imperfectly  I love my own children,  I can also begin to fathom that God our Father, in His perfection, loves us greater still.

Many people have tried to explain what it feels to be a Mother and it is just unimaginable until you actually experience the depths of these emotional responses. I seriously can’t imagine life without this treasure and my heart aches for what is lost to those who cannot or choose not to experience it.

Happy Mother’s Day….everyday!

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” ~ Psalm 127:3

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2 Responses to On motherhood….

  1. There is nothing like being a mother and you have expressed it beautifully here, Pam. Happy Belated Mothers’ Day!

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