I’m doing it y’all….

We are moving!  Where?  I don’t know. It’s a mystery.   Like Mr. Henslowe, I feel that  strangely it will all turn out well.  But, the purge has started.  It’s time.  This is the big one that I’ve put off for years.  I’ve saved the hardest for last.  I thought I was ready.  It is much more difficult than I contemplated it would be.  It is a veritable cascade of emotions and memories….gut wrenching and liberating….bitter and sweet….dismal and hopeful…simple and challenging.  Who eventually will win the toss….my head or my heart?

The accumulation started almost 40 years ago….and just like that drip that can eventually fill an ocean…so too…the stuff.  OUR stuff.  Our memories. The bits and pieces of visual reminders from days gone by….of early marriage, parenting days, littles, teenagers, loved ones no longer here, teaching, holidays and traditions.   So…much….stuff!   Attics and closets filled to overflowing.  I was the keeper and the one who lovingly saved…..everything.  Neatly containerized mind you….but hoarding none the less I suppose.  Hoarding is the persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value.   I raise my hand and fully confess to that disorder, although I will argue that they have much value to me.  However, as I purge, and try to give away, I have come to realize that for the most part, I am the only one emotionally invested in these items that represent these cherished memories.  That makes me sad too.  I was alone in my fairy tale castle and didn’t even realize it.

Our stuff should not own us.  In the immortal words of Tyler Durden:  The things you own end up owning you.  It is its own form of bondage.  I am in bondage to these things.  I know that logically I should  not allow this.  So, I’m doing it y’all…I am ripping off the proverbial band aid, and taking skin with it.  Steve stands by cheering me on from the wings.

We will keep some…but most will now be tucked away somewhere in the recesses of our heart instead of occupying a physical space.  I really don’t want to obligate our kids to this task some day and pull them away from their own precious family time.  I am pushing up my shirtsleeves.  I am practicing my ruthless responses to keep or not to keep.  As a consolation, I can dip myself into and wallow around a little while in the magic waters of memory.  That is a gift that I can give to myself in the midst of this odious process.

“Stuff is not passive. stuff wants your time, attention, allegiance, but you know it as well as I do, life is more important than the things we accumulate” ~ Dave Bruno

yes….i do know that….

 

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6 Responses to I’m doing it y’all….

  1. Lenne' Espenschied says:

    Come move with us to SSI! We’re on our way, and I’ve been in a parting-with-possessions frenzy since January! I read Marie Kondo’s book and it has been a tremendous help–love the KonMari method. You choose what to keep based on one criteria: does this item bring me joy? You only have to choose what to KEEP; the answer to that determines the other. I’ve probably kept more than Marie Kondo would suggest, but I really do feel better having shed so much. Good luck! xo

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    • pmstevens says:

      Thanks for you encouragement. I have read excerpts of Marie Kondo’s book. Problem is that I could probably argue that all that stuff brings me JOY with my memories! I am very good at convincing myself of things! : ) I will promise to come see you in SSI, but our heart is in Athens, so we plan to stay close by. We still need that lunch date. : ) xoxo

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  2. The stuff we accumulate becomes as idols. God wants our memories and our hearts to be filled with past treasures. Yes, I would certainly keep the most sentimental of objects, and for that reason, but the rest is okay to let go, Pam. It’s okay . . .
    Just know I’ll be purging lots of what I brought with me to Danny’s years ago in the next month or so. It’s about time.
    Sending love and blessings!

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  3. Sara Burrell says:

    Yes, Yes, YES. I read your words and identified 100%. I KNOW
    I need to do the purge, big time. We share the same truth;
    everything I’ve saved, kept, collected (okay, hoarded) over the years ~
    brings me joy. Connected emotionally to it all.
    Best of luck in this heart wrenching endeavor! Where ARE you
    moving? And more grand babies in your future?!

    Like

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